Domestic Discipline According To Mr. Fair

If you Google ‘Domestic Discipline’ you will find many different definitions based on individual choice and lifestyle.  These differences vary greatly, from couples who enjoy occasional fun and kinky bedroom spankings to full-blown master/slave relationships and severe punishment. 

For me and my princess, Domestic Discipline is neither of the above. Our relationship is built on love, respect, loyalty, and well defined household and lifestyle rules with clear expectations and accountability. 

I am the head-of-household, fair but firm, dependable, and loving. I am open to discussion and debate, but I always have the final say in all rules and matters related to the household and our relationship. As the leader, I am consistent in my actions to enforce rules and have the authority to correct improper behavior with the appropriate discipline at my discretion. Discipline in our home may include any combination of verbal correction, loss of privelidges, bare-bottom spanking, or other punishment of my choice.  

My princess is submissive and always obedient and loyal to me unconditionally and without exception. She is respectful of my authority, never demanding or dominant in her words or her actions, always trusting that I will make the right decisions and guide her with love and respect.  She may be delicate and vulnerable in private, but she is confident in public. She knows that her happiness, security, and well-being is my top priority. She understands that my rules and expectations are never self-centered, and demonstrates her appreciation for my firm guideance at all times.

The Perfect 50’s Television Family

I can’t watch any classic television sitcom without wondering how Domestic Discipline would fit into the day to day life of these ‘perfect’ American families.  Did Ricky spank Lucy?  Did Mike paddle Carol?  Do you think Ozzie taught Harriet a lesson or two with his belt?  Did Fred toss Ethyl over his knee after another incident at the Ricardo’s apartment?   

However discipline may have been handled in the fantasy television script that was never written, one thing is for sure; the head-of-household was clearly in charge. It is that lifestyle of domestic authority which led me to choose a Domestic Discipline relationship. Sure, I am a spanker, but spanking alone is not the foundation of a successful Domestic Relationship.

Spanking is only a means by which the trust and authority of the relationship is maintained.  That kind of domestic respect and defined roles was certainly made clear in early television sitcoms, with or without spanking.   

I think we all would agree that real life is not always quite so simple. Most problems are not solved in 30 minutes as they were on television.  However, I do believe there are lessons to be learned about the no-nonsense simplicity on how situations and everyday problems were handled.  Respect is the common ground between the ‘perfect 50’s TV family” and a successful Domestic Discipline relationship.

Perhaps the spanking only existed in my ‘fantasy script’ but nonetheless, the success and popularity of these programs proves that the simplicity and values they represented are a basic human desire for love and respect.  It’s possible that today such human desires and emotional needs are only fulfilled in a true loving Domestic Discipline relationship.

Maybe the real lesson in these classic TV shows is that many problems can be solved in 30 minutes, but we choose to make them into a mini-series.

Discipline Spanking: Power Of The Voice

The strong, firm, voice of authority can be very effective in many different situations, particularly when it comes to correcting behavior.  Done properly, verbal correction can be one of the most powerful forms of discipline.

Combining verbal correction as part of a good old-fashioned over-the-knee spanking can take the discipline to a whole new level, but there are some important rules to follow;

First, never speak out of anger, either in words or in the tone of voice.  The authority must always be strong and in control. Anger is a sign of weakness and must never be a part of discipline. Whether it is displayed physically, emotionally or verbally, anger has no part in domestic discipline.

Second, chose your words carefully. Be concise. Speak slowly, softly, and firmly. Pause and collect your thoughts and your words.

Third, remember that discipline of any sort must be focused on correcting one wrong deed, and never a laundry list of infractions. I know, sometimes the discipline is for a few different things that all require correction.  What then?  In this case, find a common ground for the discipline. In other words, if my princess broke several different rules then I would discipline her for ‘not respecting rules.’  Of course, each infraction would be verbalized and explained individually to be understood, but the focus of the discipline would be on just one thing.

Discipline Spanking: Just A Little Reminder

The motive for spankings in our home are very clear; breaking a rule, bad attitude or behavior, disrespect, or any of the things distinctly defined in our relationship where a spanking is without a doubt necessary. 

But sometimes my princess may exhibit behavior or adopt an attitude that is right on the edge.  If I feel she needs more than just a verbal reminder about her behavior, then I must take action to quickly correct the situation before it gets out of hand.

This is where a ‘reminder spanking’ is in order.  Most often on the ‘pink’ side of the spanking scale, reminder spankings are a warning, a way to help my baby girl remember who is in charge and who is submissive in our household, and put a stop to behavior that is quickly leading her down the path to more stringent discipline from her Daddy.

Mr. Fair And His Princess

Life is funny sometimes. The best stuff seems to happen when you least expect it.  Turn left instead of right and your life can change in an instant, for the better or for the worse.

For me, the day I met my amazing princess was a change for the better.  We were both sorting through our individual lives. Without knowing exactly what was missing or what we were looking for, we seemed to find it in each other. 

My baby girl is beautiful, smart, loving, and devoted.  She often calls me Daddy, and that role perfectly defines my dedication to her.  I give my baby girl unconditional love, understanding, security, support, and guidance.  She knows her Daddy is always on her side to help her make the right decisions, take care of her physical and emotional needs, and enforce rules and discipline to keep her on the right track.  She is my princess, my baby girl, and my soul mate.

From the first day we met, it seemed that everything we talked about brought about an echoing ‘YES’ from the other.  Even the ways that we were different fit together perfectly.  It was clear both of us desired a relationship with a D/s dynamic, but definitely not a master/slave relationship which we agreed was too often negative, disrespectful, physically and emotionally abusive, and just not for us.

These desires led to defining our own D/s dynamic that works in a positive way, a lifestyle commitment we live 24/7/365 and not a fantasy or role play that turns on and off for convenience.  It’s a lifestyle that combines a balance of love, respect, responsibility, accountability, and discipline.

Clearly defined roles and finding that balance is the key to being successful, too much of one and not enough of the other leads to confusion, misunderstanding, and disappointment.

My baby girl summed it up so well for both of us. “With Daddy, I have found the relationship and love that I always needed. Before meeting Daddy, I only knew what I DIDN’T want, I had no idea how to define or find what I DID.”

Discipline Spanking: No Corner-Time

I am not a big fan of corner-time.  My princess is never sent to the corner for a ‘time-out’ or told to stand in the corner with her red, sore bottom exposed to ‘think’ about her behavior after a spanking.

Of course, she needs time to think with clarity about her poor behavior. That is something I make sure of before and during a discipline spanking, but never afterward. 

It just seems to me that too often the whole idea of corner-time is just an easy way to avoid necessary verbal correction, or simply not knowing what else to do after a discipline spanking. 

If you find that corner-time works for you, great.  However, I believe that communication and forgiveness should always follow a discipline spanking, not more punishment or humiliation.  After a spanking is the time my princess needs my guideance and encouragement the most.

Discipline Spanking: Why Is It Effective?

Why is spanking effective?  I believe spanking is a positive form of discipline for 3 reasons, and all of them are equally important to successfully enforce rules, change unfavorable behavior, and encourage better personal choices.

If the goal of discipline spanking is truly to change behavior, then the spanker should understand how these 3 things all work together to ensure that the discipline is effective and achieves positive results.

The first thing about spanking is obvious, having your bare-bottom firmly smacked hurts! 

Second, it’s the loss of control, being exposed, and submission to authority. Even though the physical spanking itself may be uncomfortable, the emotional aspect of a spanking can be the most effective part of the discipline.  This is why I believe that verbal correction is important during a spanking.  

Third, and maybe most important is the release of guilt and forgiveness afterward. Starting over with a clean slate, a hug, and the promise to do better in the future.

Discipline Spanking: The Routine

Having a routine for discipline spankings is important. A routine creates consistancy and also allows my baby girl time to think about her bad behavior, and time to anticipate the spanking.

Sometimes a few short random smacks on the bottom is a good reminder for small offenses around the house or while away from home, say in a public place or at a friends house. However, a true deserved spanking should never be random or rushed.  

Discipline spanking is personal and should always done in private. Having one place where spankings take place is part of a good routine. For example, I prefer spanking on a small couch in our bedroom we call the “love seat.”

When I decide a spanking is necessary, my baby girl is sent to our room and told to wait for me on the love seat, reflecting on her behavior. When I enter the room, she stands while I sit.  She kneels comfortably between my legs.  She looks at me and listens quietly while I calmly remind her why she is about to be spanked, and explain the reasons why her behavior is not acceptable.  She is then told to stand while I unbutton her pants and pull them to her knees.  She is told to turn and face the wall while I slowly roll her panties down, positioning them just below her bottom.  With the gentle rub of my hand, I feel her cheeks tighten with anticipation of a sore bottom, and she is instructed to move over my lap.